Lol can't believe it's so spot on!
Welcome to motherhood! The next 12 months will be full of a lot of new things: the first bath, the first smile, the first word, the first foods. But while your baby is going through these milestones, don't be surprised when you go through some of your own. You've done your research about where your baby should be in terms of development, but what about your mommy milestones? Here's just some of the things you can expect now that you're no longer expecting.
Birth - Your heart expands to fit more love than you thought it could.
1 week - You learn to survive on two hours of sleep a night.
2 weeks - Your first bowel movement that doesn't make you want to cry.
3 weeks – First baby blowout. Poop on your hands, poop on your clothes, poop everywhere.
4 weeks - First outing with the baby. One hour of prep, 10 minutes away from the house.
5 weeks - First time leaving Dad home alone with the baby.
6 weeks - Doctor gives the OK for sex. Not that you have the energy for it.
7 weeks - You accidently hurt your baby for the first time while clipping her fingernails.
8 weeks – Napping has become more important than a shower.
9 weeks - First night out. You'll spend the whole time wondering if the baby's OK and the whole dinner talking about him.
10 weeks - First postpartum workout. Your body will never be the same.
11 weeks - First time breastfeeding in public.
12 weeks - Going back to work. Bust out the breast pump and cry when you leave the baby with the sitter.
13 weeks - First time you make an emergency call to the doctor with a sick baby.
14 weeks - Your first mommy-style haircut.
15 weeks - You can identify your child's cry, even in a crowd of other crying children.
16 weeks - You've mastered the art of breastfeeding while doing something else.
17 weeks - You're so tired that you put the diaper on backward.
18 weeks - You no longer think anything's wrong with smelling another person's butt.
19 weeks - Whenever you stand up, you rock back and forth, whether you're holding the baby or not.
20 weeks - You get more than four hours of sleep for the first time in months! Happy dance.
21 weeks - The first day you are still wearing the same shirt you put on this morning because it didn't get spit up on it.
22 weeks - You have mastered the art of taking a baby's temperature and using the snot sucking bulb.
23 weeks - Your first experience with leaky breasts in the middle of a work meeting.
24 weeks - Your first taste of baby food. It's disgusting.
25 weeks - You discover what it's like to have food spit in your face. Repeatedly.
26 weeks - You now know the words to more children's songs than songs on the radio.
27 weeks - The first time someone walks in on you pumping at work, and it doesn't even phase you.
28 weeks - First time being bitten by a teething monster.
29 weeks - Your first time tasting another person's vomit.
30 weeks – First time getting out the door with the baby in under 30 minutes.
31 weeks - The first time you go into a department or grocery store and don't buy something for the baby.
32 weeks - You learn how to do everything while holding a baby.
33 weeks - You can now pick someone else's booger without it bothering you.
34 weeks - Your boobs now officially belong to someone else, even if you're not breastfeeding.
35 weeks - The first time you fish a foreign object out of a baby's mouth.
36 weeks – Baby is mobile. You now spend half your time looking for things that aren't where you put them.
37 weeks - Your first time with pee, poop, and vomit on you on the same day.
38 weeks - Your child will cause you serious pain for the first time when he head butts you.
39 weeks - The first time your clothes are totally soaked after a bath.
40 weeks - First time someone has the gumption to ask you when you're going to have the next one.
41 weeks - You find out that your heart can stop beating and not kill you when you watch your little one fall off something.
42 weeks - Your first time taking your child on a trip. Yes, you will forget something.
43 weeks - Your first time folding and putting away laundry that you just folded and put away.
44 weeks - You find yourself jamming out to "The Wheels on the Bus" while driving to work without the baby.
45 weeks - Your learn you can't turn your back on your crawling, climbing baby. Even for a minute.
46 weeks - You find yourself building block towers, even when the baby is napping.
47 weeks - Your first spontaneous hug or kiss from your baby.
48 weeks – Around the time your child says her first word, you will lose the ability to talk in complete sentences.
49 weeks - Your first time planning a birthday party for your own child.
50 weeks - You survive your first public tantrum (the baby's, not yours!)
51 weeks - You have become an expert at googling everything that has to do with raising a child.
52 weeks - You realize you actually made it through a whole year and survived.
All of these things will probably happen to you along with many, many more new experiences. It all comes with the territory of being a new mom. And remember, just like babies, all mommies develop on their own timelines so don't worry if things don't happen when or how you're expecting.
Mindy Raye Friedman
Mindy is a freelance writer with a degree in journalism and editing. She traded in a full-time career in the publishing industry to stay home and chase around a cute little monster.
Website: http://mindysandbox.wordpress.com
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