These Brutally Honest Illustrations Will Make You Respect Your Mother Even More

Yes, husbands and dads. Although some of us had a smooth journey through these stages, I personally think this is one huge accomplishment all us ladies who became mothers should be proud of. We have taken the courage to dive into the unknown, not knowing what may happen although it is mother nature's work as most would say. This comic strip is so spot on for me personally.

It is and was an important 9 months that us mothers needed the support. Especially those who are becoming mothers for the first time. Hugs to all, and we must celebrate each day!

direct link here

Find more of Rebecca's brilliant work here.

(H/T: rebeccaroher.com)

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Fish Oil - Omega 3 & 6

So I suddenly had another pondering moment whereby I was trying to understand what vitamins or supplements I take these days. With all the marketing creativity out there, sometimes it's just hard to find out the truth behind those sheets of 'lies' to be frank.

Also I do get paranoid to the little details such as the capsules that contain these oil: Whether they actually breakdown in the body!

As I type out the words on wonderful world of 'Google', I was thrown into a bigger sea. There was this article at stuff.co.nz that they replaced snake oil with fish oil, but the comments that came with it were even more interesting and informative. Besides the analytical comments stating that there wasn't sufficient 'samples' taken or the experiment had a few flaws, there were conversations on having the government place a bill or a new act to ensure the quality of vitamins we get are legit and does what it does base on the label.

I pondered further to these questions:

Is fish oil the only choice to get omega 3 and 6?
What other alternatives are there?
Is there a vegetarian option?

A new and expensive alternative called the Algotene Marine Algae does the job apparently but it has a heaping more of beta carotene that would improve the eye vision and skin. There is also the better alternative called Krill oil, although it's still undergoing research.

End of the day, I believe we need to take our omega 3 and 6 fatty oils from various places such as seeds, tablet and fish. It's real important for pregnant ladies to have them, as the little one in the womb would benefit alot from it as their brains get formed. As well as it is just as important post pregnancy when breastfeeding.

In Japan, the government ensures the milk powder has traces of fish oil so that the kids benefit from them fully. We did noticed that through their really thick black hair whilst taking a wonderful holiday in Hokkaido couple years back.

And to conclude this article, if anyone is looking for a little basic information about fish oil, recommended daily intake and good capsule brand, see below. It's got a good tip of ensuring that the fish oil we get is genuine, through the oxidation process :)

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Regular Exercise before Getting Pregnant: KEY to minimizing common Pregnancy Pains

Well, not so much the pain side but the general 'discomfort' one gets when bearing a little being inside. I know I went a little crazy in doing weight training right up to the day before I was due (it really helps ease and distract myself against the difficulty of moving around), so I am not sure in my own experience whether this can be true. Personally, it helped me as it makes me move no matter how tired I was in general and fitness is all about moving the body isn't it? :)

Do note that the researcher admits the study is limited in the last paragraph below. It pretty much concludes the study.

Courtesy of ACE

Women who are hoping to get pregnant generally have a wide range of questions and concerns, including how to give themselves the best possible chances for a smooth pregnancy and delivery. It is, of course, well established that women who continue their exercise programs while pregnant typically have less pain and an easier delivery. And now a new study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine suggests that exercise before a woman even gets pregnant may help minimize or even prevent common physical pains among moms-to-be.

Specifically, researchers concluded that exercising up to five times weekly before pregnancy may help to stave off pelvic girdle pain—an umbrella term for any type of pain associated with the joint and ligament changes prompted by pregnancy.

Pelvic girdle pain affects 2 to 3 percent of women and may last up to a year after delivery. It includes pain in the rear part of the pelvis and at the joint where the pubic bones meet at the front of the pelvis (the symphysis pubis), and has been linked to reduced physical activity during pregnancy, which itself is a risk factor for complications of pregnancy.

Researchers from the Norwegian Institute of Public Health looked at whether regular exercise before pregnancy might affect the risk of developing pelvic girdle pain in more than 39,000 women who were expecting their first child between 2000 and 2009. All the women were part of the Norwegian Mother and Child Cohort Study, which has been tracking the health and well-being of a cross-section of Norwegian women, recruited between 1999 and 2008, and their children. The average age of the women was 38, but ranged from 14 to 46.

During their 17th week of pregnancy, when the women attended clinic for their routine ultrasound scan, they were asked about the type and frequency of the exercise they performed in the three months before becoming pregnant. In their 30th week of pregnancy, they were asked about the frequency and intensity of pelvic girdle pain.

The frequency of exercise was scored from zero (never) up to 3 (at least three times a week) and added up across 13 different types of exercise: brisk walking; jogging or orienteering; cycling; training in a fitness facility; swimming; low-impact, high-impact, or prenatal aerobics; dancing; cross-country skiing; ball games; and horseback riding.

More than half (56.5 percent) of the women said they had exercised at least three times a week before they became pregnant, while 7 percent said they had not exercised during this period. It is significant to note that 90 percent of those who exercised before pregnancy were still exercising at week 17.

Overall, about one in 10 women said they had experienced pelvic girdle pain by their 30th week of pregnancy. That number rose to around one in eight among those who said they didn't exercise prior to getting pregnant.

What type of exercise proved to be most beneficial? Among the women who exercised regularly, researchers discovered that those who engaged in high-impact exercise, such as jogging, high-impact aerobics and ball games were the least likely to report pelvic girdle pain.

In fact, after accounting for influential factors, including age, weight (body mass index), educational attainment, smoking and a previous history of back pain, high-impact exercising between three and five times a week was associated with a 14 percent lower risk of developing pelvic girdle pain by week 30 of pregnancy.

No additional benefit emerged for an exercise frequency of more than five times a week, the findings showed.

The research team, led by Katrine Mari Owe, Ph.D., acknowledges the limitations of their study. Because it was an observational study, no definitive conclusions about cause and effect can be drawn. However, they do point to the well-known analgesic effects of exercise among people who are not pregnant or who have chronic pain, as a result of the “feel-good” endorphins produced.

“Acknowledging the limitations of our study, these results emphasize the importance of promoting regular exercise among women of childbearing age,” they conclude.

Source: Owe, K.M. et al. (2015). Exercise level before pregnancy and engaging in high-impact sports reduce the risk of pelvic girdle pain: A population-based cohort study of 39 184 women.British Journal of Sports Medicine, DOI: 10.1136/bjsports-2015-094921

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How to Activate Transverse Abdominal

Hokai, this is VERY important to those who are bearing child to be and also post after delivering child to be, but it is just as important to those who have LOWER BACK issues.





During my gymnastic years, I develope lower back problems just because my discs were rubbing against each other. I could barely swim on my front when I moved sport. This was my fundamental, my base, my permanent ground set up for more extreme physical conditions from there on. And it really helped to know and understand that we have 4 LAYERS OF ABS. And the MOST important layer is the one behind your 6-pack :).

Mommy trainer


Every women needs to activate her T.V.A-Transverse abdominal muscle and pelvic floor muscles after giving birth. This is the exercise you need to do during the first 1-10 days post birth. If you have had a ‘C’ section it is better to wait for 5-14 days before you start.

Why is it Important? 

It is important to start activating your TVA along with your pelvic floor muscles as this is the first part in your rehabilitation from your pregnancy, labour and birth.  These muscles have been severely stretched and even more so after a ‘C’ section. During your pregnancy and you will have lost or have minimal neural connection to the inner core muscle now.

If you have strong TVA and pelvic floor muscles you can hold good posture whilst you are breastfeeding, carrying and lifting your baby. It will decrease the risk of back and hip pain and reduces possible post pregnancy incontinence.

Exercising the muscles sooner rather than later will help to start to correct a diastasis recti (post pregnancy abdominal separation) ultimately leading to a flatter stomach and if you want to eventually get back into a regular exercise routine activating these muscles daily is a must to prevent injury.

Where are these Important Muscles?

• The transverse abs run from our sides (lateral) to the front (anterior), its fibers running horizontally (transverse).
• The muscle runs transverse and is the deepest of the major abdominal muscles (the others being the rectus abdominis, and the internal and external obliques).
• It ends (the muscle insertion) by joining with the large vertical abdominal muscle in the middle (the linea alba), where the fibers begin to curve downward and upward depending on what direction it has to go to meet the linea alba, and below the sternum it combines with next most superficial muscle (the internal oblique). This insertion runs down by the belly button where it passes over the thick abdomen muscle (the "6/8-pack") and all the ab muscle fibers join together.

The transversus abdominis (TVA) helps to compress the ribs and viscera, providing torso and pelvic stability. The transversus abdominis also helps pregnant women deliver their baby.

Watch my video guide to Activate your TVA's correctly

Make sure this is the first Exercise you do after Giving Birth and do it sooner rather than later.

You don't have to engage the muscles lying down you can think about engaging your TVA and Pelvic Floor muscles together during the day.

Have a look at your stomach when you are standing, sitting and when you are holding your baby and try to activate your T.V.A muscles.

First think about activating your Pelvic Floor Muscle then draw your belly button in towards your spine, I think about either trying to zip up a pair of jeans or imagine you have a corset on and it is being pulled tighter, it is a subtle contraction.
 You should see your tummy muscles draw in; if you can see this happening, you are activating the correct muscles. You could use a mirror to help, stand sideways and watch yourself activating these muscles.

From 1-14 days post birth this is the exercise you need to do try to think about activating your tummy muscles regularly when you are lifting, changing and carrying your baby. If you can concentrate on this for a couple of weeks post birth the connections will become stronger, the muscle strength will increase and activating these once weakened muscles will become second nature.

Mummy Trainer

20 years Experience in the Fitness Industry. A Personal Trainer and Corrective Exercise Specialist. I have specialized in Pregnancy and Post Natal Exercise for more than 15 Years. My company Pregnancyexercise.co.nz is dedicated to providing professional advice during your pregnancy and beyond. I want all women to benefit from exercising both during and post pregnacy. I try to achieve this through this blog, my website and facebook sites. http://pregnancyexercise.co.nz for On-line Pregnancy and Post Natal Exercise Programs

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A letter to my pre-mom self

I'm not there yet :)

AUGUST 12, 2014 BY ASHLEE GADD IN NEW MOM, PREGNANCY

Oh, momma. I see you over there in the diaper aisle of Target, stuffing your face with popcorn, icee tucked carefully between your arm and baby bump. You’re staring at eight different kinds of baby wipes trying to make life-impacting decisions for your unborn child: scented vs. unscented, organic vs. non-organic, name brand vs. generic.

Your brow furrows as you glance over your shoulder at the array of other choices staring at you—diapers, diaper pails, diaper pail bags, diaper rash creams. All the products sit neatly lined up on the shelf, mocking you. Mocking all the moms.

“Pick me! Pick me!” they shout, trying to get your full attention in between bites of popcorn.

And what I really want to do is grab you by the shoulders and both yell and whisper sweetly at the same time: it doesn’t matter. None of that stuff matters. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have a clue what you’re doing or buying because I’m going to let you in on a little secret: nobody does.

Nobody knows what they’re doing bringing fresh new babies into the world. We’re all clueless and equally terrified of doing everything wrong. We’re all just here, caught up in this newfound all-consuming love, trying to figure it out one day at a time, one mistake at a time, one too-expensive Target trip at a time.

I see the worry on your face, the anxiety in your heart, the ridiculous things you’re googling. It’s okay, it’s part of the process. I know you’re scared that life will never be the same, and you’re right—it won’t be. It will be both better and harder than the same, a truth you won’t entirely understand until that squirmy seven pound baby is in your arms.

I am only two measly years ahead of you, but rest assured: I have learned more about motherhood in these past two years than I did in the 26 years leading up to that first positive pregnancy test. And while I have so much to tell you, gentle advice and encouragement to offer, I know that you will never fully comprehend any of this until that baby is here. Yet still, I cannot help myself….here is what I want you to know:

You will be different. You will see parts of yourself that are unrecognizable, brought only to the surface by the sheer fact that another human is suddenly dependent on you for everything. You will be anxious, you will worry, you will feel overprotective like you have never felt before. You will simultaneously need space and not need space because all you want to do is be alone and also never leave your baby with anyone else. You will uncover a plethora of mom-related judgements that were hiding in your heart all along, and one by one they will fall by the wayside as you realize just how hard and messy and glorious this calling of motherhood actually is. You will learn to love fiercely and wildly without expectations, and for the first time in your whole life, your heart will default to selflessness—a part of you that always existed but was buried deep down inside—waiting for this moment, this change, this baby, this occasion to rise. 

Your body will be different. Some parts will get bigger while other parts will shrink; it’s weird and miraculous and confusing most of the time. You will hate your body some days and love your body other days. Give yourself grace. When you’re having a hard time offering yourself grace, take a shower and blow dry your hair. Treat yourself to a new pair of jeans when you're ready to wear jeans again. Get the expensive kind (tell your husband I said it was okay). Remind yourself that your body grew and sustained a human, and that those faint stretch marks on your belly are the well-earned marks of a warrior. 

Your marriage will be different. You and your spouse will see each other with a whole new set of eyes: a brand new microscope on each others’ triumphs and failures. One of you will be “too carefree” and one of you will be “too careful”—you will learn to meet in the middle, eventually. You will trust each other like you’ve never trusted anyone before, and you will learn to love each other as parents, which is a different kind of love. Your date nights will be sparse. Your sex life will be slow. Be patient, be patient, be patient. You'll be tempted to keep score of everything: the number of times you get up in the middle of the night, the number of diapers you've changed, who did the dishes last, whose job is harder. Listen to me carefully, momma. Score-keeping has no place in your marriage. Throw that scorecard away. The best thing you can do for yourself and for each other is to say “thank you” and “I love you” every single day. Be grateful, be appreciative, offer each other grace upon grace upon grace. It is easier said than done, but trust me in this: you both need it now more than ever. 

Your house will be different. You will often feel overwhelmed by the mess, the piles of dishes, the sticky surfaces and crumbs. But one day there will be a trail of cheerios on the floor marking where your baby has been and what he has seen, and you'll realize that those cheerios make your house feel more like a home than any fresh flower arrangement ever could, and that epiphany will make you smile. One day your toddler will run down the hallway in his footy pajamas and you will want to capture that sound in a bottle for all of eternity because there is no better sound to wake up to (excluding the coffee maker). Your house will be messier, more chaotic, and less conducive to hosting company, but you will love it a hundred times more because it has never felt more like home.

Your whole life will be different. Every single day you will wake up with the responsibility of loving a child beyond measure. It will affect every decision you make, every thought you have, every fiber of your very existence. You will slowly learn to let go of control and expectations, a process you will practice every day for the rest of your life as a parent. You will start to see the world as a mom—you will see love and God and humanity through new eyes that will change you and mold you and make you more aware of how small you are and how big God is.

A void will be fulfilled that you didn’t even know existed. Can you remember the first time you saw a sunrise? The first time your toes felt sand? The first time you tasted chocolate? Probably not; you were too young to remember. Five minutes before those experiences happened you were just cruising right along, thinking life was great as is. But then, you saw that stunning orange sunrise and you felt that warm sand between your toes and you tasted that delicious piece of chocolate and you just knew. You knew life just became infinitely better in every way because you experienced magic. And motherhood is kind of like that, only a million times better.

So keep on shoppin, momma. You just dropped a piece of popcorn down your shirt but don’t worry, nobody noticed. And remember what I said about the baby wipes: that stuff doesn’t matter

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Preparing for Labour

I think it's more like preparing for the first Marathon for the first time...clueless. As I am in my last trimester, the anxiousness gets stronger *woosaaahhh*

Courtesy from the Pregnancy Centre

It is said that labour can be one of the most tiring and energetic experiences of a woman's life. Some people even say it is like running a marathon.

Now no one would consider entering a marathon race without considerable preparation and training specifically for it. All areas of a runners life would be focused on preparation for this big event - diet, fluid, particularly water intake, the amount of sleep and rest you get, and also physical training and mental preparation.

All areas of an athlete's life need to be prepared. Now what would happen if we considered labour like this. From the time you know and are ready to believe that you are pregnant, you could be preparing for this big event. Many people do, exercising and taking care of their body, while some spend more time physically preparing the baby room than they do themselves.
So in preparation, if you're not doing it already, what is needed?

Food/Diet

Good fuel for your body will make it function to its peak performance. Runners won't usually just think about what they eat the days before an event. For the months of training prior to a race they will choose good foods that they know will continue to refuel their body before and after every training session throughout the day. If they put bad fuel eg junk food into their body, they can feel the effects. A little bit may be OK, but on a regular basis if they consume the wrong fuel, they wouldn't expect their body to perform at its peak, both in training and during the actual event - the race they are planning to run.

Liquid  

Water is important to re-hydrate an athlete before, during and after training and an event. If we use other fluids continuously all the time, we don't get the full benefit of hydration to help our bodies work the best they can. For example, sugary drinks may taste nice and give us short-term energy, but aren't purely for re-hydration when needed. Too much sugar has actually been shown to cause dehydration (if the concentration is too high this can also lead to stomach cramps during an event).

Caffeine products/drinks will also contribute to dehydration, so water should be consumed in addition to caffeine products eg tea, coffee, cola drinks, as they will not supply the needs of re-hydrating your body. Being dehydrated can make you more tired and so you perform better when your body is hydrated well.

During pregnancy, in the time leading up to your labour it is important then to stay well hydrated. Clear urine can help to indicate this. If it is yellow, then you are not as well hydrated as you should be. During labour, if you are able, sips of water regularly can help you to replace the fluid your body is using due to the hard work of labour. You would never see a marathon runner complete a whole event without taking regular drinks throughout. You may have seen the effects of dehydration on athletes eg fatigue, lack of coordination and cramps. These things are not helpful during pregnancy or labour. Consider what and how much you drink to meet your own bodies needs.

The amount of sleep and rest needed.

Athletes are often tuned into their bodies, and can tell when they need more rest or sleep, because of a big training session, or the activities of their daily life. Listening to their body is important, as if they ignore the warning signs and push on regardless, they can often end up more fatigued or sick, tired and run down. Then they are unable to train or perform as needed and they are set back in their training schedule. Listening to your body on a daily basis and responding to its needs and demands can allow you better preparation. Your body knows when you need a rest or more sleep, and when you can function on less. Respect these messages and signs, and listen out for them. The more in tune you are with your body, the better and more prepared you will be for when you go into labour.

Physical Preparation

The amount of training a marathon runner does will affect his or her performance in a race. It will determine how quickly he or she will tire during the race, although the race conditions will also influence this. Fitness levels also determine how quickly a marathon runner will recover after the race - whether it will take weeks or months to recover from such a long event.

Labour can be considered to be more challenging than a marathon run for many women. It can last longer, although you do get a short break between contractions, At least in a marathon, runners know an estimated time of how long it is going to take to complete the event. During labour you are breaking new ground, never having run this particular track before and you start labour having no idea of how long it will take you to the completion of 'the event'.

Nevertheless, physical preparation will help you to endure and navigate the course ahead of you. That is, the fitter you are before and during pregnancy, the more energy you will have for labour. You are more likely to recover more easily if you are fitter too.

The other thing you often hear about is the 'runner's high'. This is where mentally and physically the runner benefits from a release of the hormone 'endorphins', which help to reduce the pain perception they have. All that work their body is doing can be seen as 'painful' and sometimes it would be easier to give up and stop the race than to push through until the end. Endorphins help them to push through and give a feeling of well being. The more trained an runner is, the higher the amount of endorphins released during exercise. This is the same for women during labour, who also release endorphins, which help reduce pain perception and give more of a feeling of wellbeing. Women who are fitter will release more endorphins during exercises in pregnancy and during labour.

Physical preparation is not always easy. Sometimes you have to 'make or discipline' yourself to go out and exercise, when it would be much easier to sit or lie down and rest. Although rest is important, as previously mentioned, there needs to be a balance between it and exercise. For more information on the types of exercise suitable for during pregnancy and how to exercise safely in pregnancy, visit the Exercise pregnancy section of this website.

Stretches - More Physical Preparation 

If a marathon runner didn't stretch after training or an event, their muscles, particularly in their legs and upper body, would continue to tighten and become stiffer over time. Flexibility of muscles is important to allow them to work freely and normally.

Flexibility of your muscles before and during labour is important to allow you to move freely as needed, and to get into comfortable positions for labour. Hamstring, quadriceps, adductor and calf stretches are all important both for the runner and the pregnant woman. These are stretches of the back, front and inside thigh muscles, as well as the calf muscles. These can easily be done before exercising (after a warm up), after exercise, or at other times of the day. Sitting cross legged on the floor will help the inside thigh (adductor) muscles become more flexible, as will sitting on the floor with your legs apart and knees straight. This will also stretch your hamstrings. A further inside thigh stretch is to 'diamond sit', with your feet together, instead of crossed. The good thing about these stretches are that you will also be more supple for when your baby is born and you play and spend time with your baby on the floor. To stretch your quadriceps muscle lay on your side and take hold of your foot, pulling it gently towards your bottom. Pull your knee back also, until you feel a gentle stretch at the front of your thigh.

To stretch your calf muscles you will need to remember that there are two different calf muscles to stretch. The outside muscle is called gastrocnemius, and goes from behind your knee down to the achilles tendon behind your ankle. To stretch this muscle you should place one foot in front of the other at a comfortable distance apart. Keep the heel of your back leg on the floor and your knee straight, (front leg, knee bent), while you lunge forwards until you feel a gentle stretch at the back of your calf. The deeper calf muscle is called soleus and goes from just below the back of your knee down to the achilles tendon behind your ankle. To stretch this muscle, use the same position as described above, and keeping the heel of the back leg on the floor, bend the back knee until you feel a gentle stretch at the back of your calf. You may feel this stretch lower down in your calf muscle. This stretch can also be done with both legs at the same time. Stand in front of a wall, place your hands on it for support with your feet level but comfortably apart. Bend both knees until you feel a gentle stretch in your calf muscle.

Remember to stretch gently while you are pregnant, as you are more flexible than normal due to the hormone relaxin softening your ligaments. This means it is more possible to overstretch if you are not careful. You should feel the stretch comfortably with no pain, but do not push into a strong stretch.

You can hold each stretch for between 10 and 30 seconds, and you may want to do this more than once on each side, particularly if it is a stretch that ‘feels good’.

Stretching after an event does help to reduce the amount of stiffness and tightness felt in the muscles over the next few days. Although this may be the last thing from your mind when you get to meet your baby after labour has finished, these same stretches can be used for the few days after the birth if you do feel sore from some of the positions you used in labour.

Mental Preparation

Often a marathon runner needs to prepare mentally for the event. This can be as simple as setting goals and targets for training sessions, and ticking them off once achieved. For pregnancy this may mean deciding to exercise regularly, for example three times per week for 20-30 minutes per session and recording this in your diary or on your calendar.

Visualization of the event is another way marathon runners can prepare for an event. This may involve running through the course in their mind, imagining how they may feel and how they may overcome obstacles such as feeling tired in the race. Determining to push through when they know it is going to be hard work is part of preparation of the mental attitude. If no attention is paid to this before an event, we would not be surprised if that runner found it harder mentally than another who was mentally prepared.

Preparing mentally for labour is of course very different. Again the course is unknown: the intensity level of the contractions, how long labour will take, what the different stages will feel like and what coping and pain relief strategies will benefit.

Preparing, despite this, could mean 'rehearsing' or running through your mind how labour might be for you. Be aware though that this can cause disappointment if your labour is harder or longer than expected or rehearsed, so don't get your heart set on a particular time or expectations of labour.

Relaxation methods may help you to physically relax your body while allowing you the time to think about labour. Thinking about how you feel while doing this can help you deal with what might be to come. Allowing yourself to explore your feelings and responses to your thinking about labour can be as much a part of preparation as preparing the nursery. Making time for this is important, particularly as labour approaches and becomes more of a reality. Mental preparation may help you feel more ready, and hence be more relaxed and less anxious about taking on the challenges ahead. Remember every labour is different, so even if you've already had a baby, spending some time on this process may be useful.

So, you may not be a marathon runner, but you're going to be a mum (or expand the number of children you are a mother to). So take the time available to you to prepare for your labour. The added benefits may be a more enjoyable pregnancy and energy afterwards to enjoy motherhood.

Be prepared. Take up the challenge. Remember you were designed to have babies and there are many people to help you along the way.

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13 Things That Wont Happen During Pregnancy

Pregnancy and labor IS all about the unknown. No matter how much is planned, no matter how much is read and absorbed, things sometimes may just not go the way it seems. It is such a tremendous mystery upon one person's life, like sailing on a boat across the sea without a compass, uncertain of where to go.

So here are some light hearted articles to ease the journey of creating a miracle for the collections are from a series of the same people who wants ventured through the same journey ;)

Courtesy from Belly belly

Pregnancy is nine months of the unknown. Each pregnancy is different, and so you will never quite know what to expect. You may find that you have good days and bad days, or you manage to experience almost every possible, horrid pregnancy symptom out there. One thing that is certain though, is that these 13 things will never happen during pregnancy:

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #1: You Will Glow From The Moment You Find Out You Are Pregnant

This definitely won’t happen because that pregnancy glow you hear so much about, is really a small window of good skin and shiny hair hidden amongst nine long months of eye bags, excessive sweating and flatulence. You will likely spend the first trimester doubled over your toilet, and the rest of the pregnancy trying to hide your double chin on photos. When people do say you that you have the glow, you will eye them suspiciously and decide they can’t be trusted.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #2: You Will Avoid All The Rubbish Symptoms Of Pregnancy

You know your friend who sailed through pregnancy without so much as a pimple? Yeah, she was a one off. In fact, you’ll be suffering from every symptom she avoided, so that’s twice the suffering for you. You may occasionally, if you’re lucky, manage the odd day without noticing a symptom, but mostly you will be jumping between nausea, headaches, fatigue and backache. Pregnancy is not so much something to be enjoyed, but endured in your case.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #3: People Will Comment On How Your Bump Looks To Be The Perfect Size For Your Gestation

Ha. If only such a thing were true. In reality, you will probably make it through to your due date without anyone commenting on your bump in such a supportive and sensitive way. Friends and strangers alike will be clambering over each other to reach you, just so they can tell you how huge you are. Then the next day, others will tell you how frighteningly small your bump is. Then how they are sure you’re carrying twins. Then how you don’t even look pregnant.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #4: People Will Tell You Stories About Positive Birth Experiences

Wouldn’t that be lovely? If the people who came over to compliment the perfection of your bump size, then went on to share beautiful positive birth experiences with you. It won’t happen though. In fact, not only will you go the duration of the pregnancy without hearing so much as a natural birth story, you’ll also be inundated with chapters for your upcoming book ‘Birth Stories From Hell’. People will come down with bad birth story diarrhoea around you, and be unable to keep the stories in. Everywhere you go, you’ll be greeted with tales of traumatising births and forgotten birth plans.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #5: People Will Keep Their Advice To Themselves

If only. You will soon learn that everyone is an expert in pregnancy and babies, even those who have never been pregnant or had babies. People will comment on the food you eat, the exercise you take and the things you do. Before the baby is even born, people will be offering you advice on how to get your baby to sleep, and you may as well get used to it, because this will continue long into toddlerhood.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #6: You Won’t Have To Lift A Finger For The Whole Nine Months

Ideally, you would probably like to spend your pregnancy resting, reading pregnancy and baby books, and going to the occasional prenatal yoga class. In reality, you are likely to be lugging your vacuum cleaner up the stairs at nine months pregnant, all in the name of nesting. You’ll also probably still be carting heavy boxes around at work, and rearranging your sofas at home. If it’s your first pregnancy, you may get the odd chore-free day to relax, but if you have older children, forget it.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #7: You Will Feel Calm and Confident About Your Mothering Abilities

What you want, is to potter through pregnancy safe in the knowledge that you will be the greatest mother ever to grace the earth. In reality, however, you will feel very fragile about your abilities, even sobbing sometimes because you are terrified that you’re simply not mother material. What if you don’t love your child enough? What if you drop her? Or leave her at the supermarkets by accident? Don’t worry though, your brain is very clever (even if you don’t realise it!). When pregnant, your brain is busy brewing a concoction of hormones which make you fall in love and protect your baby. At BellyBelly, we call it the mummy margarita. So rest assured, mother nature has it in her plans for you to be an amazing, protective mamma bear… but not until you’ve endured nine long months of self doubt and fear. Trust your instincts and don’t let your ‘overthinking’ brain take over.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #8: Your Partner Will Always Know Exactly What To Say

During this time of hormone-induced emotional upheaval, what you really need is be followed around by a trained counsellor who knows exactly what to say to help you feel better. But you don’t have that, you have your partner. Whilst your partner will be trying their very best to soothe you, he or she will most probably leave you feeling worse most of the time. Because, dammit, why can’t he or she just tell from your facial expressions that what you really want right now is choc chip, cookie dough ice-cream, while you curl up on the couch in front of the television, with a doona and a box of tissues (because ads make you cry), while you watch re-runs of The Bold and The Beautiful? Your partner should know by now. And then, as you burst into tears because your partner can’t figure out what you want or need, he or she will probably drop the H-bomb and blame it on your hormones.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #9: You Will Sleep Eight Hours A Night For The Entire Pregnancy

If pregnant women could wish for anything (healthy baby and easy birth aside), they would most probably wish for this. A long, uninterrupted sleep every night for the whole nine months. Of course, it won’t happen. You’ll probably spend the first three months needing to pee, feeling nauseous or your mind will be going into overdrive, leaving you sleepless instead. In the second trimester, your bump starts to get in the way, leaving you unable to get comfy. The final trimester of wakeful nights will be spent on the toilet, feeling excited and terrified in equal measure, and struggling to get comfortable with all the aches and cramps. Joy.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #10: You Will Have Sex Dreams About George Clooney

Ha, yeah right. Don’t worry, you’ll have the sex dreams, and they will be scarily vivid, but they won’t be about George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling. Nope, they’ll be about your brother-in-law, your boss, and the woman who works in your local corner shop. Oh, did I mention that they will be really vivid? And a bit weird. You will probably spend the rest of your pregnancy feeling gross and freaking out that you’re a complete and utter perv. Also, you’ll never be able to look the woman in the corner shop in the eye EVER again. In fact, you’ll probably want to change shops.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #11: You’ll Still Be Able To Maintain Your Active Social Life

You’re probably one of those women who won’t let pregnancy stand in between her and a good night out. Oh wait, nope, sorry, you’re one of the women who spend every Saturday evening in unflattering pyjamas at home. On the rare occasion you do make it out in the evening, you’ll be slumped over asleep by 8pm, mocktail in hand, as your friends do tequila shots around you.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #12: You’ll Be Able To Eat For Two And Get Away With It

You know that old saying, ‘eating for two?’ So, it turns out its not a good idea – nor true. While you will need some extra calorie intake during pregnancy (moreso later in pregnancy), pigging out on extra foods containing sugar, processed wheat and other junk can leave you at risk of health problems, including gestational diabetes, heartburn, fatigue (yes, even more than you already have), problems with your moods and excessive weight gain. Most of these can all cause havoc with your birth plans when your doctor decides you are high risk.

Gees, and I thought I had been lied to when I somehow popped on over 20kgs in my first pregnancy – after all, I was a ‘real’ woman, and real women put on more weight than the ‘books’ say, right? Whoops. Find out how much pregnancy weight gain is normal here.

What Wont Happen During Pregnancy #13: Your Baby Will Arrive On Time

Around 3-5% of babies arrive on their due date. Yours won’t be one of them, much to your despair. But keep reminding yourself that its safest and easiest (for you and your baby) if baby arrives when he’s ready.

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5 Things I Wish Every Mother Knew

Aaaawww, it is kinda true. Dedicated to all the mothers out there :). Love yourself always, for you have lived the life of a miracle where you put your own bodies through such an extreme yet magical process despise it being a humanly natural one.

Thanks mindandbodygreen

All relationships have a system. Some systems work well and some are dysfunctional. Read

Postnatal depression was the greatest gift I ever received. I had been living a life that was totally out of alignment with who I was. The self-reflection required to come out of it brought me wisdom and peace that I would have never obtained had I not become a mother.

Here are five things I wish that every mother knew:

1. Your children become who you are, not what you tell them to be.
Have you ever seen how children are always interested in what we're doing? Every time I get into something new, my daughter is totally into it. When I was learning about Hindu goddesses, my daughter was discovering her favorite one. (Durga, it seems!) Every time I do a new yoga posture, my son stands around and fixes my alignment. (This can be scary in balancing postures!)
They want to be just like me. So, if I want them to be happy and healthy little people, I need to model that behavior for them.

2. Your children do not belong to you; they have their own journey.
The great poet Kahlil Gibran says about children: “They come through you but not from you.” When we allow our children to have their own journeys, we become so much happier as mothers. This requires a degree of trust in them. We have to trust that their inner wisdom is just as strong as our own inner wisdom.
Ultimately, we cannot choose their future for them. The sooner they develop their intuition muscle, the better. They'll make better choices for themselves, just the way that we have.

3. Self-care is not selfish.
We've all heard the flight attendant telling us to put the oxygen mask on first, in case of an emergency. So, why is it so hard to take care of ourselves when we have children? It's because our instinct is to protect them. On a primal level, protection means preventing predators from invading the cave.
Survival of the species requires that the fit stay alive, so we will instinctively sacrifice ourselves to keep the younger ones of the species alive. The thing is, if you're reading this, a bear in a cave is probably not threatening you.
If our children become who we are, it makes sense that they will put themselves at the bottom of the pile — if that's what we do. Which doesn't make for a life in which they can thrive. It makes for a life that is second best.
If you want your children to be healthy and vibrant, show them how to do it.

4. Your children have great wisdom to offer.
Why do we do things like yoga and meditation? Because we want to become free of resistance and be happy like children are. Children are so full of life and energy. They just want to have fun. We all wish to have the freedom that they have.
Perhaps they have something to teach us?
I learned more about living in the moment from walks in nature with my toddlers than I have learned from any spiritual book.

5. Children do not need to be taught yoga and meditation.
A child cannot learn meditation or yoga when it is not practiced in their home. Children are natural yogis. If we want them to stay in the alignment that yoga and meditation naturally provides, we need to be practicing it ourselves.
Otherwise, we're putting the cart before the horse.
Being a mother does not have to be hard. It can be the greatest tool for self-discovery and peace we will ever have. I know that it has been for me. Would you agree?

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com

 About the Author

Olga Dossa

Olga is a yogini, mama and the founder of Peaceful Mothering with Olga Dossa. She is committed to supporting women to step into their power by loving themselves first. In her journey with postnatal depression, she learned that she couldn’t give her best from an empty cup. Her great love for her daughter took her on the path of yoga, ayurveda and self-love. You can find her on her website, on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter.

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